Trump Administration announces its greatest achievement: catchy names for detention centers

Washington, D.C. — While the country faces migratory, economic, and humanitarian crises, the Trump Administration has decided to focus on what really matters: coming up with creative names for its detention centers.

As we’ve seen, the detention centers will no longer have cold or bureaucratic names. Now they’ll carry more “friendly” and “memorable” labels for the public, as if they were theme parks or fast-food chains.

Not only did we get “Alligator Alcatraz.” Now there will also be “Deportation Depot.” Because we all know the hallmark of a “good” detention center is a clever name.

It’s easier to distract the public when the names sound patriotic and even a little touristy.

Meanwhile, human rights experts point out that this effort clearly demonstrates the administration’s priorities: investing more creativity in marketing than in human dignity.